Bu Yao Keh Chi (Don’t put on the air of a guest)

In China when somebody says, “Thank you,” (Hsieh, Hsieh) the answer is, “Bu Yao Keh Chi,” which means, “Don’t put on the air of a guest.”

As a child, I remember my parents always giving or going to dinner parties. They would usually play mahjong games that started in the early afternoon. Tea was served around four. Dinner, always a banquet, would be served around eight o’clock and lasted for several hours. Banquets consisted of twelve to fifteen dishes, and only the very best was offered. It would start with four cold dishes of fowl, meat, seafood and vegetables. After these dishes were sampled, the waiter would remove the dirty dishes and replace them with clean ones. The hot dishes would then begin, and are served one at a time. I remember our famous chef wanted to know precisely how long it would take a dish to be carried from the kitchen to the dinning table, so he would know when to have it ready.

With each dish a toast would be offered, either to the hostess or the honored guest. It would be “Gan Bei” (bottoms up) or “Swei Bien” (as much as you want). Occasionally, toasting games were played. Two players would both call out numbers from one to five and each would throw out his hand showing the corresponding number of fingers. The winner who called the correct total of both hands would be the winner, and the loser would have to drink a “Gan Bei” toast to the winner. Consequently, the party tends to get nosier and happier with each dish. I remember many foreign guests who were attending a Chinese banquet for the first time, literally being carried out. They did not realize how many dishes would be served, nor the number of times they would be required to swallow their drinks, “bottoms up!” 

“Beijing Duck” was always a popular attraction, especially in Beijing where the dish originated. The waiter would bring in several raw ducks on a bamboo stick, and the hostess would point to the one she liked. While this dish was being prepared, guests would be toasting and enjoying individual dishes of seafood, meat, fowl and vegetarian specialties.

The duck is covered with a coating of honey, soy sauce, five spice powder and brown sugar. When the duck is dry the procedure is repeated again. The duck is then roasted until done and the skin caramalized and crispy. While the duck is cooking, a sauce consisting of toasted sesame oil, hoi sin sauce,(this sauce can be bought in Asian grocery stores) honey, and soy sauce is prepared. The duck skin is served on one platter and the meat on another. Warm, crepe-like pancakes are brushed with the sauce, sprinkled with spring onions and shredded cucumber, then topped with a generous helping of duck meat, rolled up and eaten like a wrapped treat.

Deserts could be almond gelatin, walnut tea, or eight treasure rice called “Babao Fan” in Chinese. “Babao Fan” is my most favorite desert. The treasures may include: sweet bean paste, dates, almonds, walnuts, figs, and a mixture of crystalized dried fruits. The other ingredients called for are glutinous or sweet rice, butter, and sugar. Pick your prettiest bowl, grease it well, and make a flowered pattern on the bottom with fruits and nuts. Cover the inside of the bowl with the glutinous rice mixture, fill it with the eight treasures, and cover all with more of the rice mixture. Steam the bowl for forty minutes or so. When ready, turn the contents of the bowl out onto a beautiful plate and the flowered pattern will appear at the top of the mound of the steaming desert.

A banquet always ends with a big platter of fruit.

Chinese dishes have been developed for hundreds of years and passed on from generation to generation. Each region has its specialties, which have withstood the passing of time. I remember peaches as big as grapefruits, so juicy you could not avoid messing up your hands and clothing; oranges so round and perfect, I would cut the skin to make beautiful baskets. I filled them with chestnuts and sweets to give to my foreign friends and teachers at the French School, “Sacre Coeur,” where I was a student. Persimmons had to be bright orange and soft; if they were hard they would pucker up your mouth. My twin sister, Lu, and I would stick them outside the window on a cold, snowy day, and then eat them later with spoons, just like ice cream.

Chinese people love festivals and have special foods for each occasion. Spring rolls to celebrate the coming of spring; moon cakes stuffed with dates and nuts for the full moon; pot stickers shaped like golden nuggets for Chinese New Year and prosperity; long-life noodles for birthdays.

Chinese people are hospitable; the greatest honor they can offer their friends is to have them over for a meal. The hostess will go to any length to offer the very best to her honored guests. This custom is not reserved for the rich, people who do not have much money will invite their friends to share whatever food they can afford. It is an honor for the hostess to show her friends how much she appreciates and loves them.

The most tedious part of Chinese cooking is the preparation. The cook needs many little bowls so that each meat and vegetable is separated. As you know, each vegetable has its own texture and color, and each has to be stir-fried separately. Only the meat is marinated with soy sauce, wine and other enhancing ingredients. Even in our cooking we never forget to practice our “Yin Yang” philosophy; contrast and balance, the soft and the crisp, the light and the dark, the sweet and the sour. When slicing pork or beef, always cut it against the grain. The meat or fowl is always the main ingredient. If the meat is cut in strips, then everything else added to that dish should be cut likewise. Another dish could be cut into cubes. Always remember the balance of color and texture. The prep works could take hours, but the last minute cooking can be quite fast. Chopsticks are provided, and the guest has nothing to cut. No work, only to enjoy the food and be happy.

When Chinese people greet each other, they often say “Have you eaten yet?” and we always have a gift for the hostess. Never give a gift that you wouldn’t want to eat, drink, or use yourself.

A perfect summation to this article is that when someone says “Hsieh, hsieh” (Thank You), the answer should always be, “Bu Yao Keh Chi,” (do not put on the air of a guest).

The photo below shows Chinese ladies wearing their most beautiful “cheongshans” after a delicious banquet on Chinese New Year.